Yes Day
Sometimes it is hard to say yes, most of the time it is way easier to say no. But for Allison (Jenifer Gardner) yes was always easy….Sky diving? Yes! World Travel? Yes! Line dancing? Yes!
After Allison said yes to marriage and kids, her yes became no. Her sense of adventure turned into a desire for safety and her spontaneous spirit was traded for lists and overcomplex calendars. Furthermore, when it came to her kids and their wild schemes, the answer was always no.
Once Allison realizes that the kids think she is akin to Hitler because of her strict nature, (while her husband, Carlos (Edgar Ramirez) is always the fun dad) she decides to have a Yes Day. One day where the kids are in charge and the parents can’t say no. Yes Day! is the story of a mom learning to say yes again, and a dad learning to say no through an implausible, and often ridiculous story that leaves, at least this reviewer confused at what the movie is trying to say.
According to the three Torres kids, Katie (Jenna Ortega), Nando (Julian Lerner), and Ellie (Everly Carganilla), their mom is the worst. Katie writes a haiku for school about feeling trapped and Nando makes a youtube video about how his mom is like Stalin and Hitler. Allison isn’t a bad mom. She is however a bit high-strung. The movie shows Allison holding her kids to a standard and not letting them run wild and in return, the children behave very meanly towards her.
My first major objection to the movie is that the kids do not deserve a Yes Day. The way they behave towards their mother is wrong and the idea that a mom has to prove how fun she is by letting her kids walk all over her is sad. Katie is by far the worst. She is rude, disrespectful, and cruel to Allison, just because Allison won’t let Katie (age 15), go to Fleek Fest (think Coachella) without an adult. We as the audience are supposed to think Allison is being unreasonable and just struggling to let her baby girl grow up. When Katie does go to Fleek Fest behind her parent’s back, the people she is with try to pressure her into having sex. The people there are cruel and mock her. Many are drunk or high and overall uncaring about a little girl sobbing on the ground in fear because she can’t figure out how to get home. Ultimately Allison comes to the rescue and “saves” her daughter from a really dangerous and bad situation, but somehow it is Allison who learns a lesson in all of this. If she had been more fun and said yes more, maybe her daughter would have wanted her at the concert. Allison was right about the concert in the first place, and while many teens wish to be free and think their parents are out of touch, that doesn’t mean the parents need to stop being parents in order to make their kids like them better.
The second major objection I have with the film is that Carlos as a character is confusing. He is the “fun dad”. At least that is what everyone says about him. However we, as the audience, never see him being fun or saying yes to anything. We also see him try to get around Yes Day rules and try to go back to work several times during Yes Day. Honestly, it seems more like Carlos is a bit of a workaholic who needs to figure out his priorities. Nevertheless, he is labeled as the “fun dad” which Allison resents because she is essentially parenting alone and he is just saying yes while letting Allison appear to be the bad guy. This all comes to a head when Carlos tries to beg off of Yes Day after a bird attack. He wants to go to work and then go home. Allison is hurt and upset and tells him she isn’t telling the kids. When she talks to a rather abrasive lesbian ambulance driver about the situation the advice given is essential, “you do you and if your partner doesn’t want to join your party that is fine, you don’t have to change for him.” Despite being awful marriage advice in general for it encourages a complete disregard for your partner’s thoughts and feelings. Allison takes this advice to heart and decides that if Carlos is going to go home that is fine but she is going to be a fun parent and look better than him to the kids in the process. Ultimately this leads to her guilting and cornering Carlos into coming to the rest of yes day from fear of hurting his kids and being the bad guy. He always should have gone with his family, but the way Allison got him to come was underhanded. Eventually, Carlos learns... somehow … that he needs to support Allison and that parenting is a team thing. Both parents need to be fun and strict. This is sweet but weird and unexplained and manifests itself in scolding a large group of kids who almost completely destroyed the house, a scolding I feel like would have happened even without this out-of-the-blue revelation.
Parenting is hard. Finding the right time to say yes or say no can be challenging, and letting your teens grow up and be independent while still protecting them is a balancing act. Although there is no one right way to parent, Yes Day exhibits a lot of wrong ways to do it. The movie has some redeeming qualities. It is cute, fun, and Jennifer Grander is good. However, the movie is full of bad examples for kids and parents alike. If you are looking for a family movie, I would recommend saying no to “Yes Day!”
Content Overview
Language: There is a smattering of Gosh, Darn, and Crap.
Violence: Carlos gets attacked by some birds and ends up in the hospital but is fine. Carlos is hit in the groin. There is an intense game of capture the flag/water balloon fight where people act like they have been shot. Allison gets into a full-on fight with a lady over a stuffed animal, this lands them in jail.
Sexual content: Katie is going to the concert and Laya her friend is bringing guys to hook up with. Laya’s cousin Julie gets them a tent at the concert so they can all go have sex, Katie says that it doesn’t feel right, so Laya ditches her.
Other objectionable content: Carlos eats so much ice cream he gets diarrhea. The kids smart off to adults constantly. Carlos gets his youngest daughter to lie for him. The family uses emergency vehicles for their own personal use twice. Katie leaves the two younger kids alone with a house full of kids. Nando throws a nerd party and destroys the house. There is toilet humor and crass jokes.
